40 – Assistant Principal Ass Clown*

28 Apr

*Photo taken from

Dear Assistant Principal Assclown,

It has recently come to my attention that men in their 40s undergo symptoms of hormonal flux.  Have you ever considered hypogonadism[1] as the culprit?  Please take this situation seriously, because I am extremely concerned about your safety.  Mainly because it is highly plausible that I may (a)knock the shit out of you, (b) stomp you to sleep, (c) slash your tires and smear elephant turds onto the hood of your car, or (d)ALL of the above if you continue to chew me out in front of my students.

If you are promptly treated, then the students and faculty will no longer be subjected to your:

  • Bitchassedness
  • Emotional tirades
  • Annoying nagging voice
  • Chronic confusion (Read: LIES)
  • Penchant for embarrassing teachers in front of their students (what I really dislike)

Furthermore, I would like to point out to you that there are REAL issues for you to address within this school; Issues more important than what TYPE of paper I may have happened to use to write a pass for a student[2].  For example, I would like you to address the fact that I have been cursed out by a student who is a doppelganger for Sasquatch/Bigfoot/Snufflelufagus, repeatedly, for the past week.  I have written him/it up…and NOTHING!  This “kid ”sells drugs in the boys’ bathroom between class changes, gets to say “fuck,” “hell,” and “damn” to me…walk out of class…never follow the rules…yet you are all over my ass?

…And people wonder why the good teachers never stay…

Yours in Education,

Ms. Friendly 🙂

[1] Adult men may experience diminished libido, erectile dysfunction, muscle weakness, loss of body hair, depression, and other mood disorders. Recent research has shown that about 30% of men who are diagnosed with depression may actually have hypogonadism.

[2] The school does not have any more toner or paper to give to teachers as it is!  I am already funding paper and toner for my classroom, so if you think that I’m going to add printing-out-special-passes-for-assistant-principal-assclown to my list…then you are stupider than you look!


Posted by on April 28, 2010 in Uncategorized


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4 responses to “40 – Assistant Principal Ass Clown*

  1. dinah

    May 1, 2010 at 10:15 pm

    hiya! i’ve been reading your blog for a while now. i can’t even remember how i stumbled upon it, but once i found it i new it was gold. i used to work in schools, mostly inner city ones. i was a teacher’s assistant for a few years and then became a school secretary. reading your blog helps me to remember the craziness that comes with working in a school.


    ps. if you’re going to read a book on my list, i would suggest little bee. it is a very interesting read.

  2. barefootmeg

    May 11, 2010 at 11:11 am

    I’m also a former inner city teacher (Detroit, ’91-’95, San Francisco ’96-00) and I stumbled across your blog just yesterday via Google.

    I certainly know exactly what you’re talking about. We often had to buy our own paper, workbooks, posters, etc. all out of our own pockets. They had me traveling from classroom to classroom. And when my admin. would come to observe me, he’d write me up for not having a well decorated classroom (even though I was only in there one period a day and another teacher had it all the rest of the time) or because the students weren’t all wearing their ID badges.

    On the other hand, I got in serious trouble when I asked a history teacher who was coming in to the math/english department office to watch television full blast, to turn down the volume so I could grade papers without listening to smoochy soap operas during my prep period. They said that I wasn’t “a team player” after that.

    I lasted four years there and then decided to move on to some place where I could at least use my brain once in awhile and I wasn’t treated like trash.

    So have you done a post on social promotion yet? I almost lost my job because I didn’t give passing grades to a bunch of 9th grade algebra students who didn’t know how to multiply or divide let alone solve for the variable. Silly me.

    • msfriendly

      May 13, 2010 at 3:20 pm

      Well I’m glad you found me! 🙂 …and no, I have not written an article on social promotion (yet) because I’m saving a little for the book (lol). I find the hypocrisy and doublespeak, that lives within the world of education, exhausting! Good teachers don’t want to stay when offered a choice. I don’t blame you for leaving…in fact, it sounds like you really gave it the good ‘ol “college try” before exiting stage left.

      The administration has the potential to be THE biggest asshats ever! It’s like they were shoved inside a machine, tossed about for an entire month…then came out the other side donning the facade of their former selves and the interior of a brainless zombie.

      I left that inner-city school ONLY because of the principal. The kids and I had come to an understanding…(sigh)

      So, did you leave education or did you only leave that school?

      • barefootmeg

        May 13, 2010 at 6:58 pm

        I’ve sorta left education. I had three kids in close succession (not recommended) — my son was 1 3/4 when i gave birth to twins. So I taught one year after that point and then we moved to Colorado to help my mom take care of my dad (who has Picks disease — similar to Alzheimer’s). I never got back into teaching, but I’ve had a wonderful time parent helping in the past 9 years.

        Parent helpers get to come in, enjoy lots of one on one time with kids, they don’t have to do any lesson planning and they don’t have to deal with discipline issues. And as a bonus, I feel like I’m able to step in and help out a teacher in the areas where they’re maxed (like dealing with a particularly difficult student. I can take them out to the hall and work one-on-one and the teacher gets some time with the class without constantly fighting against the trouble maker).

        I also love that I’m able to follow these kids all the way through school. I have a history with these kids and they’ve grown to trust me and they’re willing to listen to me. It’s rather humbling in some ways and a whole lot of fun in others because it means we can dig right into the business of learning without having to work out testy mentor/student dynamics.

        It’s really opened my eyes to the fact that if I ever DO go back to teaching, I really should try to get parents involved. I was a high school math teacher, an area most parents would probably shy away from helping in. But honestly, if I had just one parent per class who could come in and collect the homework, take attendance and walk around during the lesson to help kids keep focused, that would make a HUGE difference.

        I also love the chance to observe so many different teachers. I’ve been working with one this year that I’m tempted to video tape. She rocks hard when it comes to discipline and keeping the kids on task. She recently left for maternity leave and the kids have reverted back to form, accentuating again just how well she’d run the class when she was here. If I go back to teaching, I want to be just like her. She’s my idol now. 😉


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