11 – Disturbing Observations of Student Culture

20 Apr

Last weekend, I was invited to the housewarming of my friend’s brother. I had not seen this particular friend in five years, and I did not know his brother…but I was still excited about the invite.

The day before the housewarming, I received directions from my friend’s cousin, and my heart almost plummeted one thousand feet into the earth…I had to take the same exit as my work exit! At that point, I was not entirely sure if the complex was located five minutes from the school…or fifteen minutes from the school…I did not want to panic prematurely, however, a bad taste was beginning to form in my mouth. I wanted to see my friend, so I had resigned myself to go.

I followed the directions, hoping that the complex would be farther off the exit than I was anticipating (I don’t know that area very well)…but I would not be that fortunate…the complex was a mere five minutes away from the school. When I turned into the complex, I saw students…I did not like that. Normally, I believe it is in best practices to socialize FAR AWAY from where students may be. When I found the building number, I noticed that everyone was sitting outside; that was strike two for me…I did not want to expose myself, like a sitting duck, to my students.

So, I attempted to try to settle into the afternoon. It was around five p.m., and people within the neighborhood where going about their business…

Disturbing Observation #1: A cute little girl, around the age of four, was running through the neighborhood unattended. “Where’s her mother?” I asked. Everyone there chuckled and replied, “At least she has shoes on today!” I was incredulous. She was running up and down the complex street, going in and out of different houses…and no one was supervising her. “That’s how little girls get raped,” I stated. Everyone nodded their heads in agreement.

Disturbing Observation #2: The little girl’s mother FINALLY makes it outside. She is “looking” for her daughter, but without any true effort. The mother is not calling her name. The mother is only walking, stumbling, along…she looked to be about seven months pregnant, MAYBE twenty-one (ish)…The mother really does not seem concerned, and I only assumed that she was looking for her daughter because I know that if it were my daughter…I would have been looking for her (for REAL looking). So, eventually, the little girl comes running out of some random apartment and into the street. The girl runs to her mother, and the mother says nothing…she does not scold or chastise her daughter for running in and out of “strange” homes, nor does she lecture her daughter about the importance of remaining in her sight at all times.

Disturbing Observation #3: There’s a teen-aged boy to the left of the town home who periodically would sit outside, look around, and then go back into his house. He had a chair set up in a nice space under a tree. In fact, his house was one of the houses that the little girl ran into. I was curious about the boy, but savvy enough to know better than to stare openly. The boy watched nothing, and yet was omniscient, simultaneously. As the afternoon wore on, the boy began to receive visitors…a motley bunch of guys who seemed to be around his age. The boys were young, some wore their hair in long spindly dreadlocks, others had their hair close shaven…they all wore extremely oversized T-shirts and jeans…one boy had on a white shirt that was so dirty that it held an orange hue…another boy wore a black shirt that had an ashen grey-like tinge…they all looked like people I would not want in my classroom…sneaking, skulking, menacing, posturing…they were up to no good!

Random people were visiting them, “dapping” them up (fist pounds), and then exiting as soon as they entered…this happened for an hour…and then the little girl…AGAIN! She zoomed in and out of houses, up and down the street of the complex, and always found her way into this busy boy-man’s house. “Is he selling drugs over there?” I asked. “They call him White Boy,” my friend replied. “White Boy? But he’s not White…he’s like mixed-race or something,” I respond. My friend laughed and shook his head. “WHITE boy…cuz he got that White.” “Ohhhhhhh!” I got it! He sold Cocaine.

Disturbing Observation #4: Around the time of my epiphany concerning White Boy’s occupational status, I notice someone in a car, who looks like one of my students. “Oh no!” I hid behind my friend, hoping my student did not see me. She lives on the other side of White Boy…opposite of where the house warming group was congregated.

Disturbing Observation #5: White Boy and his friends began to smoke weed on the front stoop of his house. “Can they do that?” I asked. My voice was full of incredulity. “Sure,” my friend responded, “Who’s going to stop them? This is a laid back living community.” …um…okay…? I immediately began to picture a police sting operation were I would be arrested upon association…Okay, NOTE: I realize that I have an over-active imagination! LOL! But I was picturing the fact that I could loose my teaching certificate by being in the wrong place at the wrong time!

Disturbing Observation #6: More people are randomly coming up to White Boy. The traffic in and out of his vicinity was higher than that of an airport’s…and the little girl continued to make sporadic visits in and out of White Boy’s place. I thought it was all so very strange. It made me so uncomfortable…Something about that little girl just running around unattended, in and out of other people’s houses, truly unnerved me. Then…to add more uncomfortabilty (not a “real” word I know) to an already uncomfortable situation, I saw ANOTHER student! Okay…time to go!

…I left soon thereafter…all of that was way too much for me. Gaining that bird’s eye glimpse into what some of my students’ lives must be like…painful…because I knew that that place was not the worst place. That place was not a housing project, but it had elements and people that I never had to deal with as I was growing up…those boy-men I saw congregated around White Boy…they were headed for a life of nothingness. They all looked so angry and defeated. What they were doing was “it” for them…the height of their achievements in life…being a dope boy. They will probably go to jail, have a few children, maybe get shot, and/or shoot someone all by the age of twenty!

The little girl…will probably get raped or molested by the time she is nine…maybe have a baby by the time she is fifteen…WHY? Because no one is watching the little ones out there!…And WHY was she running from house to house? My personal theory is that she was running drugs for White Boy.

I had seen enough.


Posted by on April 20, 2008 in Uncategorized, Work


Tags: , , , , , , , ,

6 responses to “11 – Disturbing Observations of Student Culture

  1. aniche

    April 20, 2008 at 6:36 am

    “that’s how little girls get raped”
    they nodded in agreement.

    wow, that must have been a surreal few minutes 😀

  2. Crouching Bride, Hidden Bridezilla

    May 4, 2008 at 4:35 pm

    The most disturbing observation…not any one of those people who live there and know this happens, did anything about it!

  3. dcablackdread

    May 20, 2008 at 7:47 pm

    Just what would you have us do? What could be said? It was a great day…no gun shots.

  4. Johnathan Walraven

    September 3, 2009 at 12:58 am


  5. Jaya

    October 7, 2009 at 1:24 pm

    It’s a sad world. As an educator, though, you’d need to understand how these kids’ lives are before making any judgments. I know kids that sell hard drugs, new things that are just hitting the streets, and I can’t blame them. Kids get as fed up as we do, if not more. Their parents fighting, leaving, getting corrupted by the poor environments that are in every part of the world, most commonly known as hoods, are how and where things go bad. You haven’t walked where they have, the same way you wouldn’t think like this about another person or another teacher like yourself. You might have grown up in a nice neighborhood with people looking after you, but not everyone else. And it sets me off when people blame the kids directly, because they know for a fact that the adults have failed, and just don’t want to admit it. Rebellion is going to occur when kids are growing up, it’s just a matter of how adults handle it. Again, they fail… as does the government, which lets this cycle continue to roll, by doing nothing.

    • msfriendly

      October 7, 2009 at 7:43 pm


      Yes, you are right…it is a sad world. However, where we are in disagreement is on my role as an educator and your role as a community member. It is my job to guide, nurture, teach, and make judgments. If I don’t do these things, then I will have a hard way to go. I do these things, for OTHER people’s children, on a DAILY basis! When will the people who are also as equally responsible step up to the plate? What surprised me most is your “and I can’t blame them” remark…Yes! Yes, you can! When you don’t blame them, then I blame you too, community member.

      We are losing our children to the streets. I see it everyday. It makes me worried, scared, and sad. Where is our future going? I know that the parents of these kids are responsible…but when will these kids-turned-teens take responsibility of their own future, get what’s being offered to them for free by people who care (an education), and make a more POSITIVE way for themselves? When will parents do what they are supposed to do for their children? When will the community band together to support their schools? These schools are housing our future…our precious cargo.

      Change has got to begin somewhere…right alongside personal responsibility!


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